Convictions

I've been reading Heather's blog, and it's got me thinking. She's writing about things I've been thinking for quite some time in my own head. I think I'm not even half the mother to my youngest that I was to my oldest. Sometimes she follows me around and fusses and I get frustrated, and then I realize that what she really wants is to be engaged. But it often doesn't change the course of the day. I feel so busy. Or sometimes so lazy. Today was a day I just didn't have it in me. I did get much done this morning, but in the afternoon I was so tired. I get more irritable than I want to be. It isn't even about losing my temper or yelling, lately it's more about disengaging.

I was trying to apologize to Ethan for being a bit irritable in the hot tub tonight. He thinks of it more as a small pool. I wanted to relax and he wanted to splash. Anyway, I apologize to him, and he says, "That's okay. I know I'm annoying sometimes." This breaks my heart. I want him to feel like he is safe and loved and enjoyed in his family and in his home.

We had a great talk after that. It started with him asking me, "Who is your favorite kid, me, Grace or Gertie? It's okay if it isn't me. I just want to know." Wow. I talked to him about my favorite things about him. That was easy. I love to watch him happy. Nothing beats it. And I wish you could have seen him when I picked him up from basketball camp this morning. He was so intense. All the kids were off the court except Ethan and one other kid. Ethan was dribbling across the court, darting in and out of cones. He did this endless times. He didn't look up to see if I was watching (which he often does). This was for him. He was working on improving his skills. He was serious. It was beautiful. I love his sense of humor, which is EXACTLY like his Dad's. They love to rhyme. Ethan's been rhyming since he's been talking. And it makes him laugh. I love that.

So I too am going to commit to engaging my kids more. From Grace down to Gertie, I need to stop checking out.

Eyes in the Back of My Head?

Oh, yes, and I forgot to mention that my son went to church last night with no shirt on. He wore his winter coat over a bare chest.

What is especially horrifying to me is that I had NO IDEA he had no shirt on until we'd been there for 45 minutes. How does a mother miss the fact that her son has no shirt on as they're leaving the house? As they're eating dinner?

These things happen to keep me humble, and to keep my judgements of others (and other mothers) in check.

I'll sign off.

May all your children be properly clothed.

An Untitled Halloween Poem

Go to the costume shop, what do we see?
A costume for you and a costume for me

I see cats, dogs, and even kangaroos,
Demons and devils and creepy things too

You could be an EMT,
Spiderman, Superman, even the Black Flea

A princess, a fairy,
Some cute, some scary

Bumble bees are the bee's knees,
Grab a friend and be parakeets

If you feel jumpy, hyper or cocky
You could find a costume with football or hockey

You could be a cowboy or cowgirl
or dress up as a giant pearl

Have you picked out a costume yet?
Better do it soon so you don't forget

Grace wrote this poem for a class and I thought it was pretty cute. Although I happen to know that she hasn't yet chosen a costume. We aren't very Haloweeny around here this year.

John takes him mom home today. We are sorry to see her go. It's been a good couple weeks.

Achoo

I tell you, this blogging thing is contagious. I have recently added two new blogs to my list: Both my stepmom and my little sister have started up a blog site. I am so excited to be able to catch up and see pictures and know what they're thinking. I love blogging (or at least I love reading the blogs of those I care about).

Our day was a good one. I have a busy day tomorrow, but it's a good day for me. I have Bible study in the morning, volunteer with Ethan's class in the afternoon, a meeting later, and then church at night. I have crammed it all in, but Wednesdays are usually shot anyway, and these are all things I love.

And do you remember the friend of Grace's that died of a brain tumor right before school started? They are planting a tree in her honor tomorrow at Grace's old elementary school. Her mother requested that a few students from her class be present, if possible. (She would have been in sixth grade this year, and that is over at the middle school, so they'll have to be transported over, and miss a little school.) Anyway, Brooke's mother specifically mentioned Grace as a girl that Brooke talked about as being a good friend, and that meant something to me and to Grace, to know that, because Grace didn't get the opportunity to say goodbye when she wanted to. Now we know that Brooke knew that Grace cared about her. I just thought that was a neat bit of closure for Grace.

Is that Dad and Ethan in a Hot Tub?

I rousted John at 6:07 a.m. He was not ready. But he loves his children and a good surprise, so he got up, woke Ethan, and they climbed out into the hot tub. After a few minutes I woke Gracie up and told her I wanted to get some Bible study done this morning with her (she started a study in the mornings, but has been a little lax the last few days when she's feeling tired). Anyway, that got her out of bed without much suspicion.

When she came down, I asked her to let Uma out, which she did, but she didn't even look out the door. So I said, "Would you check on her to make sure she's okay?" My obedient daughter did this without complaint, even though it was a ridiculous request, and it was then that she saw her Dad and her brother relaxing in the hot tub that she didn't know existed. She had a very confused, but excited look on her face. I threw her a swimsuit and she was out the door in record time.

It is a memory we get to share. And I hope we'll pile them up.

The Hot Tub

John and I spent much of the day outside today overseeing the installation of our new hot tub. We had a very large old one that didn't work when we moved in; we explored having it fixed up, but that didn't seem feasible. We found a great deal on this one, so we went for it.

The fun part is that we didn't say anything to the kids. It was so cool watching Ethan's face as he arrived home from school on his bike. He walked back there and the guy was still here giving us some instructions. His smile was huge. He gave his dad a big hug and thanked him (like it was just for him). He is still smiling.

Grace was at play practice until the tub was filled up and the guy was long gone, so she didn't even see it in the back yard. We haven't said a word, even Ethan is keeping this secret.

It is still heating up. We're at 90 degrees now, so I'm hoping John and I can get in before bed.

We are going to wake up a little early tomorrow morning and take a quick dip. The plan is that Ethan and John are going to go out and sit in the hot tub at 6 a.m. Grace usually wakes up at 6:15 or so. I'm going to make up some reason to send her to the back yard and she'll catch them out there soaking in the new tub. This should be good.

Ethan is sleeping in his swimsuit!

Technical Difficulties

We had a great weekend in South Dakota. We stayed with the Kniffens, and they were very gracious spur-of-the-moment hosts. Gertie had a great time playing with Wyatt and Colton. Brian fired off a rocket in that back yard that went so high in the sky it disappeared--literally.

We went to the parade and had a great time visiting with many old friends. (The kids complained that there wasn't enough candy because we were at the end of the parade and many people had run out by the time they reached us. I feel like I saw plenty of candy wrappers in the back of the van, so I doubt their version of events.)

I've probably already gone on about this at some other place, but I love parades, and especially marching bands. There were many of those, and I loved them all. I love the way they march in unison in their crisp-looking uniforms. I love the music. I can hear in my mind that I'm repeating myself, so I need to stop, but it was fun.

Gertie has caught a cold so she is VERY clingy and whiny. She had a fever the first couple days, and slept horribly on through the trip, but she's slept okay since then. (This is her little sick face on the way home.) I have bible study in the morning, so I'm hoping she's feeling better. If not, I'm sure John will watch her, but I like to take her, and I think she likes it too.

We brought Marge back with us. She'll stay for about ten days, I think. I'm looking forward to having her here. We thought she'd get to see Grace play tennis yesterday, but that was canceled because of rain, so tennis is done. We'll have a chance at flag football for Ethan today, but it's a bit nippy out, and John's mom is allergic to the cold, of all things. In South Dakota it is often cold. And it's pretty darn cold in Minnesota as well. But that's where we are.

I started this earlier today. I feel like I just list off the schedule for all to read, and you probably don't care as much about the schedule.

Tonight Ethan felt bad about getting creamed in football.

I made John the Almond Joy dessert he's been talking about since he ate it almost nine years ago. I baked the dessert while I talked on the phone with the doornob guy while Gertie followed me around fussing and begging that I pick her up. I didn't get the cake out of the oven on time, so then I sent John to the store for another cake. I love that man (and he loves me now that I made this dessert he had to wait nine years for).

Gertie has been dancing while John has been playing the guitar for the last half hour. The dancing should be called spinning, because that's what it truly is. I love to listen to John play the guitar. Every time I hear it, I'm so glad he does it. It's never enough.

Well, that was last night, and I was waiting to upload some pictures, but that is a bust, at least for now, so I'm going to publish anyway. I'll try with the pictures again later.

And that was a couple nights ago. Obviously I'm having technical difficulties. I thought this was published. I have added the pictures in, though, and hopefully this one would take.

The only thing I think I'd add is that John and I took a walk tonight after Gertie went to bed. We had a great time. It was dark and chilly and we just caught up on the day. I liked it. I miss it. I want to do it often. We'll try that.

John is complaining that while watching TV, you are enjoying your show, and then the commercial comes on and the volume is increased by ridiculous amounts. Does anyone else notice this? It drives me crazy. I don't think they should be allowed to do that.